Period panties, menses & controversy

Disclaimer: This is a post about periods. I will be talking about period blood & everything that goes along with it. So if you’re iffy about talking about the female reproductive system and how it works this post probably isn’t for you. But then again, what are you doing with your life if you are not knowledgeable about the female reproductive system, how it works and what we go through every month? Yeah you better stick around then cause you may learn something!

I’m on my period. And with that comes the bleeding, leaking, tiredness, cramping, PMS’ing, the usual. For the last 20+ years it’s been a love hate relationship (more hate than love but I'm learning to give my body grace!)

In the last couple of years, I’ve been searching for ways to make each monthly period easeful and less cumbersome by looking for products that allow me the freedom to not worry about said leaking. (I used to tackle the cramping by taking Panadol’s but stopped doing that a while ago cause I cramp a lot less now). Using sanitary towels (pads) and tampons weren’t working for me cause we all know how wasteful they are and I needed to change. After researching a bunch of products, one of the things I stumbled upon was the menstrual cup (see diagram below for an example if you’re unfamiliar with it).

Image via Claripharm.fr

See I wanted to like the idea of it but with me and my aversion of sticking things up my vagina, I also didn’t know how I’d react to seeing & emptying out my menses into the toilet every time I needed to change, so I decided to go another route.

And that brings us to period panties!

Now as I mentioned before, I used to use sanitary towels and tampons because that was the only thing available for a long time. The latter I only started using when I was around 21 because your girl didn’t want anything up her vagina (aversion)! But truthfully, I was a virgin and the thought of navigating my nether regions freaked me out! I just didn’t know how to use them, was too afraid to use them and didn’t want to accidentally hurt myself trying to insert it or get TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome). Pads were what I started with when I got my first period. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was sitting on the toilet in my moms office building and noticed some brown discharge on my underwear, freaked out and told her there was a problem with my pee. I remember she gave me a pad and later a necklace, but I completely blank when it comes to remembering whether she spoke to me about it. I think I might have zoned out. In my defence I was freaked out cause ‘What did this all mean now!’ But I’ll have to ask her! What I do remember knowing, from my older sister who had had hers years before, was that you just start wearing these really uncomfortable pads between your legs every month for around a week because you were bleeding. Business as usual!

So the pads that we used to use were Always sanitary pads. These pads were one of the only ones on the market and everyone used them because we had no other options as the company that produces them - Proctor & Gamble (P&G) - had monopoly over the market for close to 30 years. For a lot of people, myself included, wearing said pads would cause problems not limited to burning, itchiness and/or rashes when worn. I personally used to think this was part and parcel whenever you had your period. A little itching here, a little rash there. Standard procedure. No it isn’t and it never should have been. The brand has recently come under fire for selling lesser quality products to African (and it was mentioned also to Middle Eastern countries) which they apparently denied (insert upside down smily face here). Similarities between pads sold in countries like the US and Kenya were compared and a vast difference in quality was discovered (same goes for the Pampers brand under the same company but that is another topic for another day). Read articles about the controversy here, here here and here. You can also check out the hashtag #MyAlwaysExperience on twitter. If you don’t know, now you know!

It’s despicable how big ass companies go unchecked for so long regarding the quality of products they sell to Africa and developing countries as a whole. And there are so many reasons as to why this happens. Laws that’s don’t enforce stricter guidelines when bringing in said products, quality control, the lack of consumer knowledge that said products are of much lesser quality than their Western counterparts (because we would like to believe that we are getting the same product but it is often not the case) - and the list goes on.

My whole gripe with this particular case is imagine the number of little girls who thought this was normal? And were probably too ashamed to talk about it because in Kenya, periods and having your monthly menses was (and in some areas still are) a shameful thing. Like, how can something so natural be considered shameful? It’s getting better with foundations like Inua Dada who are working to destigmatize & educate communities about periods and empower the girl child. My hope for future generations is that they learn that periods aren’t dirty, shameful or bad. This narrative has been perpetuated for so long, its time we stop the hatred of ones natural bodily functions and celebrate them instead.

But I digress cause I could go on and on about this!

So fast forward to today (or in this case 2020). I was introduced to them by my cousin who was so kind as to buy me a pair during my postpartum period. This was my first time hearing about them & I was excited to try them out. it fit in perfectly with my aim to 1. find a product that allowed me freedom to go about my day without worrying about leaking & 2. wasn’t wasteful. Also, not having to worry about buying it every other month was a win win.

We’re going to back track a little here: you see, I wasn’t expecting my period to come back for a long time after giving birth - because if you’re breastfeeding, your period doesn't usually show up until way later, sometimes even for almost a year after giving birth so I was like ‘I have timeeee!’ My uterus however had other plans. (insert side eye emoji here!) My period came back in all its glory 3 months after. Great! Buuuut, seeing as I had my new period panties I was ready to jump back on the period wagon and take this head on.

Now the brand I used was an American brand (let’s say their name rhymes with Bee Minx) and this particular underwear I first tried holds upto ‘2 regular pads worth of period blood’. I was sold! And the design also got me all excited cause they were high waisted & looked like they would really curb any possible leaks. (Side bar: I for one am so vexed by how often you stain a piece of clothing and/or your underwear whenever on your period. Like no fail you will stain a piece of clothing, couch, underwear. Like that is just part and parcel of this beautiful and often times cumbersome shedding that has been bestowed on us. I was TIRED of this regular occurrence so I hoped and prayed these would work!) Tick and tick.

I put them on and was happy for a minute, but an hour in, I felt all kinds of wet and uncomfortable (insert side eye emoji here!) Look, I don’t know if it was because my flow had increased and there was more blood now since giving birth but these were one of the brands most absorbent range and I would have thought they could have handled it better. To say I felt very let down was an understatement.

But I didn’t give up hope! I was determined to make this work by any means necessary. So I figured, since these weren’t their super absorbency range, maybe if I got those, I’d get lucky right? I bit the bullet (and the shipping costs cause I was desperate here) and decided to go for it. These were super high waisted & could hold up to ‘2.5 regular pads worth of period blood’. Surely I couldn’t go wrong? It was a shit show - or should I say period show? They worked for an hour and then that was that. Deception! I was heartbroken and let down once again. Maybe my expectations were too high? I expected to wear them for at least 3 hours before needing to change but maybe I was overreaching? It was back to the drawing board.

Since then, I’ve unfortunately gone back to using pads because they are what work and have worked but I’m definitely still searching for the ultimate period panty, the ’holy grail’ of period panties. One that does what it says it does. I haven’t tried any other brands cause I still have PTSD over my last pairs but I am not giving up hope! If you have any recommendations I would love to hear from you! And i’d also love to know what your experience has been using them?

But when all’s said and done, the period is something to behold. I mean, how amazing is the female body? I’ve grown more and more appreciative of it, all it does & continues to do since giving birth. But one shouldn’t have to wait until they have a child to be in awe of what it can do. My hope is to transmit to my daughter a love for her periods. A love that lets her know that even though they can be a pain in the butt (pun intended), it is also something to be celebrated. It’s your body saying, ‘I’m here and doing exactly what I’m designed to.’ Teach her that for centuries, cultures around the world considered menstruation sacred & exalted before patriarchy. That it is a time for slowing down and taking loving your body through it all.

And hopefully, in the process, I’ll learn to love mine too. x